I remember when I was younger and in school,
fear stopped me from asking out a girl I wanted
to date. I can remember all the thoughts of
different things I wanted to say and how I would
ask her out. But as quickly as the thoughts to ask
her out popped in my head, I came up with all the
reasons why she might say no. I remember the
'feeling' of rejection and embarrassment even
though I didn't even pick up the phone! It's as
real in my mind right now as it was then.
I didn't understand it then but I certainly do today.
Do you ever have any thoughts of fear that cause
you to not to move ahead with any of your dreams
or goals?
Every human on earth at one time or another feels
this 'fear' and reverts back into their 'safety' or
comfort zone. The system was created to protect
us in times of real danger but we must learn when
danger is real or caused by our imagination of what
may happen…again.
What ability causes one person to face and
overcome possible rejection at work, in school
or in a relationship? On the other hand what
causes someone to be paralyzed by a mere
thought? Consider the following:
- A man who goes after business like
a tiger may be uncomfortable with women
and therefore not be able to approach a
woman for fear of rejection.
- A woman who is miserable in a
relationship may be petrified at the thought
of saying anything to her spouse in fear of
the potential discussion or backlash.
- A child may not seek out other children
to play with at school in fear of rejection.
The list can go on and on, from fear of leaving
your job, to fear of hurting yourself if you try
something new. So, what is really going on,
and how can we stop this once and for all?
First and foremost, understand that fear is
a very common feeling and we all have one
fear or another. The 'feeling' of fear is almost
solely based on what we think may happen if
we try and fail. It is different than actually
knowing that we will hurt ourselves if we fall
20 stories from a building.
Most fears are illusions we create in our
own head, based on past conditioning and
not based on what is possible. As children
we are natural born risk takers and for the
most part we are fearless. The meaning we
give to experiences when we do not achieve
the result we want, determines how we 'see'
and 'feel' the next opportunity that seems like
the one we've experienced in the past.
If we experience rejection more times
than we care to, we tend to mentally label
the experience a negative one. Over time,
this becomes our belief, and our beliefs, as
you already know, becomes our reality.
But…
- What would happen if we changed the
meaning of an experience we didn't like?
- What if we learned to label the experience
a learning one or an interesting one?
- Do you think your tolerance level would
increase for trying again?
I have learned that people who really
succeed in various areas of life often frame
their experiences differently than those who
quickly label the experience as a negative one.
When we feel fear, we are playing a mental
track that is not conducive to growth. All
growth comes from stretching oneself past
the comfort zone that limits us. Risk is a
necessary part of the reward. You cannot
have one without the other.
Let me suggest that you start to label your
experiences in a way that serves you rather
than limits you.
We have very few limits except the ones that
we set on ourselves. And those are mostly out
of fear from the past. Do not let your past control
your present thinking. Step out and grow. Step
out of your comfort zone and be free again!
Remember that successful people take action
to order and register their actions in their mind
today for automatic and permanent motivation.
Come and discover what all attendees have
learned at my next seminar and, you will too,
of course achieve your dreams.
To You Having It All,
~ John Assaraf, aka The Street Kid
President, TheStreetKid.com
#1 Best-Selling Author, 'Having It All'
3525 Del Mar Heights Rd., Suite 356,
San Diego, CA 92130
New York Times & Wall Street Journal
Best-Selling Author, Trainer & Entrepreneur
Go to: http://www.thestreetkid.com/
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